February 2012
515 posts
1 tag
My best pal and I's relationship
Me: help man, I'm really drunk and high as fuck and I'm on my way to Common.
Ross: I canny help just now I'm having a shite in a casino.
You can see my nips in this t shirt.
Is that socially acceptable?
They’re not massive or that. They’re just there.
I think I’m going to Common. I like that I still have time for those without class. Plus it’s nice having a night out where you absolutely don’t have to worry about how you look, because if you pull you’re the worst cunt alive.
Bloc for Paws, then Common. My dual personalities...
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crushtina replied to your post: I think all girls should go to art school. Until…
There is something deeply wrong with you
Hahaha, tip of the iceberg m8. Careful if you’re out tonight. CAUSE I MIGHT BE.
I think all girls should go to art school.
Until they establish that elitist bitch accent.
Then they can talk down to me for my own sordid kicks.
TMI Friday!
Anonymous asked: what breed is little tina? a collie?
I was once quite the character apparently...
Bouncer at the venue: Alright mate, you the promoter for this evening?
Me: I am man, yeah. Do I recognise you from somewhere?
Bouncer: Aye man I recognise you too, from the old art school.
Me: oh god I hope not.
Bouncer: haha, aye a wee bit like that, you were quite a character. Don't worry there was a few like you.
I haven't been to art school in almost 3 years.
I mean, REALLY?
You never forget a handsome face, obvz.
Wow
Cannot handle how bad some of the texts I sent last night were.
If you think I’m talking about you, rest assured you probably didn’t get the worst of it.
Apart from one of you obviously.
Urghhhhhhh.
Was just about to say never again but I have a pint in my right hand. Silly Rogers.
On my way to art school in a Franz Ferdinand t shirt. What a wank, eh? Look a lot better than I feel though, because I feel like shit. Could’ve done with a night on the sofa and a proper dinner. As is I’ll probably end up making myself a steak pie at midnight.
Think I’m going to walk along to Bloc after the gig and see Paws before they’re all huge since they’re on...
I love that any time Shannon or Holly name one of their pals I’m just like “Oh her? She’s amazing. I’m in love with her. Ask Ross I used to just spend all my time telling him how amazing she is”.
Even though they just explained to me why one of them has mental problems.
Forever in love with everyone.
Can someone be in love with me and hold me now? I’m...
afr50:
the chick off countdown has a bangin body
Agreed. Banow.
Spongefingers
My new nickname.
Anonymous asked: Is holly your girlfriend?
Haha.
Mess.
Apparently Holly told me to move over last night, and I replied “If you say that one more fucking time I’ll slap you”.
Wee charmer, so I am.
I wish I could satisfy a woman the way the delivery man just saitisfied Holly and Shannon.
No woman could fake that elation. When the buzzer went you could almost cut the sexual tension in here with a knife.
They have the pakora horn something insane.
Also, if you ever want to find a woman attractive, don’t watch her eat at 3am. It’s like watching buzzards feasting on your own...
AND IF YOU DONT LOVE ME NOW
oldballoons:
YOU WILL NEVER LOVE ME AGAIN
Anonymous asked: You're knocking back two girls?!
Scott's a mongo
This isn’t politically correct. Also, wow. Some people take rejection really badly.
Steaming. Listening to Rumours with Shannon and Holly. They both keep trying to talk me into a threesome and I’m like NAW, NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, but they’re persistant so I’ll probably just go to bed.
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lsla replied to your post: Ohhhhhhhhh
sometimes non-attachment is best achieved through hatred and arrogance. #islabuddha #relax ;)
I’m sure this is beautiful, but please just take a seat on my face while I think about it?
Holly is a wean and a wursto
BOOM goes my night out.
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Ohhhhhhhhh
Fuck the fuck off you self-righteous wank.
Nobody cares about your opinion.
Your opinions are essentially you pissing into the wind. Whatever you say, the only person it influences is you.
Please cease speech. We’re all over it.
Yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn.
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cillablack replied to your post: cillablack replied to your post: Rizzle Kicks is…
I’m gonna find your number from my liked posts and make you drunk text me, then post them all on here and embarrass the hell out of you tomorrow
07428727799.
Go wild, Cilla/Lauren.
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cillablack replied to your post: Rizzle Kicks is FULL of steaming young ladies this ev…
In fact, a few didn’t even get in so there are some outside for you too! Enjoy your night babes x
Woah! I can at least restrain myself to people who can get into the ABC! Girls that are 14+, essentially. I’m steaming though. So no promises to stay within that.
cillablack asked: Rizzle Kicks is FULL of steaming young ladies this evening. Here's hoping they stay on for Wankerbaby for you this evening ;)
Anonymous asked: 10, and 11 .
Anonymous asked: What turns you on?
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tonimalyn replied to your post: TONI MALYN
Hiya. See you soon. X
AHGFDERTYUJKHGFCDGHJK
I just received a phonecall from my fringe double and handsome pal Sean McKenna. He’s coming out and he’s bringing “a wine” to mine. That spells Buckfast. The last time he came to my flat to drink Buckfast we ended up squaring up in Urban Outfitters.
Tonight just got out of hand. The Debauchery Society founder is coming out. Buzz.
Now to make dinner, shower, lay the...
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17
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Today’s to-do list went out the window because I slept in for half an hour.
Silly old lack of self-discipline.*
So now I’m sat in the living room with Dan, and he’s playing Skyrim, which looks like it was made exclusively for virgins, and I’m doing my best Ronan Keating impression and singing “If Tomorrow Never Comes” while gorging myself on Creme Eggs....
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TONI MALYN
I could just text you but where’s the fun? Ross and I are going out tonight (after midnight cause he’s skinto) and we want you to come and compensate for the fact only girls in Dundee want to sheg him.
We’re probably going to get stuck into a bottle of vodka at mine and then sit in the ABC Polar Bar thing until he stops crying and comes for a dance. You into it you handsome...
Anonymous asked: Aside from the occasional bout of arrogance I actually think you are the perfect man for me. Head screwed on, just cheeky enough, into Bret and insanely fuckable.
About that 40 Days and 40 Nights thing I said...
I just don’t think it’s gonna work out.
It’s not the 40 Days and 40 Nights thing, it’s me.
I’m just in a very difficult place right now and I don’t think I should be committing to anything so serious.
We can still be friends.
Girls wouldn't like bad boys so much if nice guys...
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Aw shit
I’ve legitimately slept in. I don’t think this has happened since first year. Why didn’t my alarm go off?! Cock piss Partridge.
I wish I was still wasting my life and that this little cock-up meant I could just go back to sleep and all would be well on Walton mountain, but as is I have a lot of stuff on my little to-do list today, and it all requires me to be in the library. So...
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I just got out my little red book the minute that you said goodbye, I’d go right through my little red book I wasn’t gonna sit and cry, And I went from A to Z, I took out every pretty girl in town, They danced with me, And as I held them, All I did was talk, talk about you, Hear your name and, I start to cry, There’s just no getting over you. Love - Little Red Book Just watched...
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In bed...
Watching High Fidelity.
I just had a pizza because I’m up too early tomorrow for breakfast.
And now I’m having Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice cream.
Know what I really need?
A girlfriend.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!
Or I might go and get absolutely fucked up tomorrow night with Ross.
Depending on his plans.
I’m 16 pages away from shutting the fuck up about Bret Easton Ellis for a while. Are you all excited?
Unless I immediately start Lunar Park of course.
I started this book on Monday morning. No other author makes me read like this.
My Mum phoned earlier and asked what I’d done with my week. I told her everything and it felt weird not having to pick and choose nights out to...
“When I say no, I’m not an agent, she moans and I have her by the shoulders now and I’m taking her very slowly, calmly, to the bathroom and while I’m stripping her, throwing the ESPRIT T-shirt aside, into the bidet, she keeps giggling, wasted, and asking, “Doesn’t that sound weird to you?” And then finally her young perfect body is naked and she looks up...
Anonymous asked: 39?